Being an empathic makes it very tough on a person that has dealt with depression in their own lives. I tend to pick up when people have sadness in their eyes. They don’t even have to have a frown. It’s like I can sense that they’re unhappy.

The old me would’ve tried to get in there to root out the issue and continue to try to fix anything that was wrong. I would probably put my nose in where it doesn’t belong. Or try to help in a situation that I am completely unfamiliar with.

Today I am more apt to ask a friend, “How’s life treating you today?” It’s a question I ask a lot in greetings and is not unusual. What it does do is open a door, but only if a friend wants it too. If the answer is a solemn okay, I can return with, “If you need me you know where I am.”

My hardest is young children when they are sad. Hugs and cuddles can usually eliminate the sadness. They often don’t have the words to explain how they are feeling but almost all will respond yes when asked, “Do you want to be happy?” That’s when I can suggest something fun to do that they like. Most often, like adults, they just need something to distract them from dwelling on their sadness and to know someone cares.

My best advice? Be there if a friend or family needs you. Find a way to always assure them you are there for them if they need to talk it out. Be nonjudgmental and unconditional as possible. Trust and respect are foremost. You can’t fix anyone. You can be a good friend.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

There are a few good friends and family members who know how much of a dreamer I can be. I love to believe that nothing is impossible if you really want it bad enough.

I do tend to see the sunny side of everything. My cup is always half full. I always pick kindness first. And I’m pretty damn sure that fairies and unicorns do exist.

To be perfectly honest, I have achieved most of my goals. And I’ve been able to watch my children achieve their dreams. I’ve watched my grandchildren start to find their way in believing in themselves.

A very good friend saw Peggy and sent me a picture, saying, “Hey Carol you always say that anything is possible!” I loved it so much that she ended up finding it online and gifting it to me. Since that day Peggy has seen a lot of stuff happen. Some good and some bad, but all of it working towards happiness.

Today as you go forwards, remember that all dreams can come true. Happiness is attainable. Just keep working towards it. When it feels like you’re being dragged back over and over again, remember that it is only part of the journey. The dream is at the end of the journey. The path to find our joy is often filled with rocks and struggles. But the ending is so worth it!! Pigs do fly if you really believe they can. ❤️

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

I love the sun and I love to laugh. When I cried I cried hard until my eyes were swollen shut. So here I am with skin hanging over my eyes and wrinkles from top to toe. But I love them because it means I survived. I haven’t had a super hard cry in years. But I have laughed and smiled a hundred times a day. I found this poem by Donna Ashworth and was driven to share it. Have a great day and smile lots!!!!

I have laughed.
Oh how I have laughed.
I have laughed so hard with so many wonderful people that I now wear the marks.
Mother Nature has engraved me as one, ‘who laughed whenever she could’.
I wear the tattoo of the joyful, and that makes me swell with pride.
How can I hate upon these lines when I remember the nights, the music, the dancing, the fun, the tears of laughter and the blindingly joyful light.
Give me a mark for every night I felt alive and I will show them to the world with pride.
I have laughed.
Oh how I have laughed.
I hope you have laughed too my friend.
And if you have not, start now.
It’s never too late.

Donna Ashworth

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

Like many other girls my age in the 60s I had the chore of Saturday morning cleaning. This was when every tiny little ornament, every little dust ball under a bed, and every surface had to be cleaned. We had oil heaters in the living room and kitchen and they drew in the dust balls. My Mom would get so mad because I would gag and hack from the dust. I know she thought it was just dramatics to get out of cleaning.

As I have said before, my mother was not a very sentimental person. At least she didn’t express emotions or any attachment to things. She was not that kind of person. She didn’t seem to have any outward excitement about certain objects or items. Although in her defense, I did discover that she did keep many things like vaccination records, report cards, and school pictures, and one broken ornament I had bought her as a child.

But then there was the White Elephant. I was always told to be careful around the White Elephant. I was told by my mom how much she loved the White Elephant. She had had it since her childhood, and she wanted to keep it forever.

My Swedish grandparents had lived in the north end of Winnipeg. A community much like today that has a very diverse immigration population. My grandfather worked as a carpenter building elevators all over Manitoba Saskatchewan, and Alberta. They owned a boarding house which was run by my grandmother.

My mom spoke so kindly about an elderly woman who lived next-door to them in the north end. She didn’t have much from what my mom said, but she chose to give mom one of her most treasured possessions, the White Elephant. The woman had been given the White Elephant by her mother when she was just a child. It has no other information, so I have no idea how old it is, where it was originally made, etc. All I knew was that my mother loved it.

As kids we never played in the living room. We didn’t take a chance that it would be us that broke the White Elephant. And a piece of the White Elephant did break and I still have the broken piece inside the White Elephant. I can’t remember how it got broken or when it got broken, all I know is that I didn’t break it.

I often ponder on what effect this elderly woman had on my mother? I know my mom had a very painful childhood at times. I sometimes think that maybe this woman made her feel special. And I have to admit that I too treasured the White Elephant. My children were always made aware to take care not to break the White Elephant.

If the White Elephant taught me anything, it was to treasure the people and moments in my life. The White Elephant may last forever as it gets passed along, but it is a thing. It is not a part of me. It triggers memories and not bad ones. That is all.

Keep and treasure your loved ones. For that is your true legacy.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

I have always been driven to be able to replicate the beauty that my eyes could see, and the feeling that my heart could feel. If only one person has the same feelings looking at my photos then I have succeeded in sharing a gift.

Be it music, art, a novel, a poem, it must move all your senses. It must envelop you in it’s magic. All civilizations throughout history have performed ceremonies to elicit bravery, love, honour, and gratitude. We dance. We sing. We play instruments. We tell stories.

So my only wish for you today is to find those arts that make you smile and feel warm to the tips of your toes, or brings on the tears that have your heart tearing in a million pieces. Listen to stories and films that make you laugh until you cry and your stomach is sore. Move your heart and soul with beauty all around you. It’s there to comfort and feed you. To keep you strong in those moments when reality takes you back to the day to day struggles. Have that escape. You so deserve it.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

Throughout history, man has been enthralled with the moon. Storytellers speak of spirits, monsters, true love, and tragedies.

Ancient cultures believed that the moon guided every part of their lives. The Aztecs built their cities based on moon phases. The pyramids in Egypt are related to moon phases. Stonehedge in England is based on the moon and sun.

I really didn’t notice how the full moon affected me personally until I started to realize that ever time I had full blown argument with my husband, I would jump in the car and go for a drive to calm down and de-escalate the tension. (I always drove safely and lived way out in rural East Manitoba.)

On those drives at night, I discovered there was always a full moon. My first husband had the ability to make me feel less. But he had a very bad temper, and as a peacekeeper it was my job to keep him calm. I started to realize that during the full moon, I was much more assertive on my opinion. I would voice my concerns. When I was told I wasn’t good at something or that I wasn’t doing something right, I would defend myself and my actions.

This would automatically end up in a screaming match with lots of tears lots of crying and not exactly being reasonable on either side. After my divorce, I really did start to try to be able to control those strong emotions on that full moon night.

Hell, even our menstrual flows are based on the 28 day cycle of the moon. So I may not understand the science or biology but I am as sure as teens get pimples, that the moon affects us somehow.

I will go along my day, remembering to stop, look, and listen to ensure that I am being reasonable. Because I find myself on more of an emotional edge it is up to me to ensure that I don’t go over it.

Many times my coworkers and family have heard the comment, “Please forgive me for I’m a little touchy and in the full moon insanity phase. I will attempt to be as kind as possible. I will hope that you will be as forgiving as possible. Love you.”

I’m off to mingle with humanity. Wish me luck. Happy full moon day!!

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

Today I have a choice. I can live with stress, pain, and anxiety or I can live with calm, happiness, and positivity. I am in complete control of this moment in this day. No one can control how I feel except me!

If things are going wrong for the people in my life, I can be sympathetic, but I don’t have to take on their sadness or stress level. In fact, if I remain calm and empathetic, I may actually be able to reduce their levels of stress.

So take this Monday, only one of the Mondays in this month, and in this year, smile and be grateful to be here at this time, and in this place.

You are making choices every moment to be happy or miserable. Make the choice that is the best for your heart and mind.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

Faith is the complete trust and confidence in something or someone. Some people have faith in an entity they have never ever seen.

Most people have a need to have someone or some thing that is much stronger than they are, and who can protect them and care for them. This post isn’t about religion. It’s only about faith.

A friend of mine sat at the side of her daughter after a horrific car accident. She kept saying over and over again, “Please be OK. Please be OK. Please be OK. I need you with me. Please be OK.”

She put her trust and faith in her daughter to make it through this. Some would say it sounded like a prayer and it very much did. But the prayer was to her daughter to fight to live. Her daughter survived.

A friend’s grandchild had been diagnosed with a severe heart defect. It was going to take surgery and medical expertise to have this child survive. The grandmother had a mass at her church in the name of her grandchild. A prayer chain was given the task of praying for this child. The parents went on Facebook, asking everyone for prayers for their child. They had faith that their God would intervene and guide the doctors to save their child’s life. The child survived.

Humans need to have faith in someone or something. Many of us are fortunate to have a life partner or friend that we have complete confidence and trust in. No conditions. No fears. They will always help us if they can.

I do work hard to have faith in myself. The faith that I can work it out, find a solution, and continue with my happy life. But like many other people when things get so tough, and I have no control over the situation, I often ask for God’s help.

Faith can affect governments, religions, wars, and individuals. I trust and have confidence in humanity. That one day faith will come to all of us, faith in each other and ourselves. Fear is the enemy. Faith is all about love. Have faith in yourself and the good in our world.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

I have been extremely fortunate to have been loved unconditionally by a wonderful man. That love you feel when someone looks in your eyes from across the room and you both smile and know that you have each other’s never ending love. The way he looked at me I felt beautiful and wanted. No jealousy. No doubt. No worry. No fear. My first true happy.

As a widow at 41 I was devastated. And after a couple of years very lonely. I had only been with two men. My first husband for seventeen years and my second for five years. My first husband had been controlling and insecure about every action and reaction. He was a very sad and angry very often. Extremely negative. Died of alcoholism.

Brian was the opposite in many ways. Easy going. Loved to go on road trips, loved my music, loved family gatherings. Hard working, his kids were first priority, loved sports, and a great dad. Sexy and passionate. My best everything.

I went through some of the grieving stages. I was angry that he left me alone. I was angry with God for taking away my first true feeling of happy. We were supposed to end up being that cute old couple walking down the sidewalk holding hands. He was not supposed to die at the age of 44 of prostrate cancer.

In around 2000 I bought my first computer. My daughter had gotten a summer job in Romania. And I was able to contact her daily with Yahoo! Messenger. Along with yahoo game accounts, I made a profile. And then I joined the yahoo games groups. We played crib. We played solitaire. We played pyramids, and I got to meet some wonderful people from the United States, Ireland, and from all across Canada.

I would spend hours and hours on the computer. It filled the quiet hours in my apartment. And with my depression it allowed me to hide. Over 20 years later, I am still friends with one of the original players at the yahoo games. She is a wonderful retired lawyer in New York.

Along with those nice normal people that love playing games, there came along the chat searchers. Almost every conversation started with “Hi beautiful I would love to be able to have some time to see what we have in common.” Or it might be, “Oh you’re a widow. Sadly I too know how painful that can be.”

Many of these people profess to have wonderful jobs in exotic countries with no one to love them. And if you agree to keep chatting with them they will spend an extraordinary amount of time “falling in love” with you. Sometimes after months, after you have talked often of meeting in person, after you have looked forward to each one of his calls, after he has made you feel loved and beautiful he has a disaster happen.

That disaster is a well thought out plan. The man usually claims to be an American or Canadian working on a project in a place like Africa, or a Middle East country, Qatar, etc.

An example: He claims to have been getting sick. This could be a few days. He needs some medication but the drug store here won’t take Visa and his bank account is not completely finished updating for his new location. He makes comments like, “I don’t know what to do? Damn I am so alone here. Being able to talk to you makes it at least bearable.”

He knows he has prepped this well if he reads your next chat and it says, “Oh hon. I feel so bad for you. Isn’t there someone who can help you?”

He will then convincingly explain some company or government reason for no access to accounts. His family from the States are on holidays, “Remember me telling you about Mary and family going up into the remote Rockies for a holiday? They left last night for two weeks. So they can’t even wire me the money!!”

Then he knows he has got her when she asks, “Well how much do you need?”

“Only $500 and here I am with a $50,000 Visa and I can’t pay that!LOL”

“Well what if I send you the money?”

“No I can’t ask you to do that. I hate that medications here are so expensive.”

“No I want to. You can wire me back the money when your account opens up.”

And he knows he has been successful. Now anything is possible. He may even wire her back a part payment to build the trust and affection. Next time he has been robbed and can’t get out of the country without his passport and cards. The woman sends thousands. There is a problem with the government regime. The American consulate is working on his passport. He has to pay corrupt immigration officials. The corrupt immigration official even sends chat messages or emails to the woman with threats of harm to her loved one. Some have people local that can phone and harass the woman. This is big business.

In Canada in 2021, $64 BILLION was lost through romance fraud. They are good. A few times I enjoyed being flirted with. I enjoyed being attractive to someone. But unless your internet interest is local, do not engage. NEVER give money to anyone that you have never met face to face.

Protect your heart and your money. A true love is someone that holds your hand and you can feel their heart.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. Maybe I be happy. May I live with ease.

My family is the most important thing in my life besides my own wellbeing. I would do anything in my power to help them. I would move heaven and earth to protect them. I have to trust their judgement as adults. I try to only provide advice if it is asked for. And that almost kills me.

But the next most important element in my life are my friends. Like the old saying about some people come into your life for a season, I have had many wonderful friends that I know were in my life for maybe a short time, but for a very important reason.

We have all had work friendships. Some last for the term of the employment and some last for a lifetime. I still have friends that I developed in the second job I ever had in my life.

I have childhood friends that are almost like extended family. They know all about my childhood and where I grew up. There is definitely no explanations needed and I can say, “Hey, isn’t it nice when we could go to Vickies?” and they know exactly where I’m talking about.

What I have learned in the last five years is that you have to take the time to let those friends know you care. It can be as simple as sending a text message out of the blue that says I love you, thank you for being my friend. Too often we assume that our friends know how important they are to us. I have friends that I sometimes don’t talk to for months because we don’t live in the same area.

My depression would often isolate me. I would just not want to have to talk. It’s crazy that talking is often what helps us heal. Before my self-compassion improved, I would often assume that people didn’t want to be close friends with me. If I didn’t get asked out to social events, or invited for dinner, I would assume that they didn’t care. Now I realize that we all have busy lives. And it’s easy to have friendships take the backseat. As a good friend I really attempt to let people know I care about them and that I’m here if they need me. Just because I haven’t text them at least twice a week it doesn’t mean that I don’t think about them, or that I don’t love them as much as I ever have.

To my friends: Thank you for always being there if I need you. I will try harder to find time for us to get together. Call me anytime day or night if you need me.

JAMES TAYLOR’S YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND!!! BEST SONG EVER!!!

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy.

May I live with ease.