Or as Dad said, “Stop your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!!!”

One thing I always hated as a child, was when my parents would be fighting, screaming at each other, calling each other names, and I in my bed could not stop crying. My father would come into my room and sit on my bed and scream, “If you don’t stop your goddamn crying I’ll give you something to cry about!”

I was terrified as a child. Very often my mother’s and father’s screams would result in my father hitting my mother. Or throwing something at her. So when he came into my room and sat on my bed and yelled at me to stop crying, every part of my body wanted to stop crying. I would hold my breath. Giant hiccoughs would result in me sucking air trying so hard not to make a sound. Yet even as a little kid I knew that if I could keep his attention with me long enough mom would be able to go to bed. And he might just sit down and fall asleep on the couch.

So yes in my own little world when problems come to me now I try to just stay calm and think of solutions. I don’t have a fear that I had then because I don’t have anyone screaming at me to stop crying.

With therapy and the love of my family and friends I have learned how to handle little things, and even the big things.

But I do realize that not everyone is as lucky. So when that person comes to you very upset about something that a lot of people would think they’d have gotten over by now, remember to not make them have to try to pretend not to be sad or not to cry over something that no one else understands. Kindness and compassion is the best gift towards healing emotional anguish. The best gift to receive and give to yourself. You deserve to be happy but are allowed your grief for the past.

Stay strong. Stay positive. It all works out in the end.