I have experienced the depths of despair. I have layed curled up under the covers with a towel to cry until my eyes are swollen shut. I have watched my home become a disaster area while I lay on the couch or sit at the computer trying to ignore it. My mind wandering to the guilt of being a horrible housekeeper and disgust in my failure as a human. I have gluttonized on chips, chocolate bars, and ice cream. I have eaten a loaf of sandwiches to fill the empty feeling I have inside me. I have avoided people, socializing, and even going to the store. Leave me alone. I just want to not think. I just want some good feelings, even if they are not good for me.

Now that I have found my happy place, I want nothing more but to have my friends find it too. My heart has ached watching a friend struggle with depression. There is not a better feeling than to see someone who had been a quivering mess of anxiety and trauma, smile at me and tell me how well they did in handling what would have been an extremely stressful problem. For them to smile and say, “I got this!!”

When our friends have accepted therapy and are working hard to manage those extreme emotions, it is so important to be there for them. I acknowledge when I see them succeeding in putting their therapy into practice. It’s a hard journey that has so many ups and downs in the beginning. Finding the right therapist, finding the right medications if needed, and finding the positive people you need around you. And of course having to distance the negative people in your lives, emotionally if not physically. I recently had a friend smile and tell me, “My dad is going to be the same negative person he always has been. I have accepted that that may never change. And I have learned that he fights his own battles inside himself. I don’t have to let them affect how I feel about me. I am a fantastic person. I won’t let his pain spread to me. I know I love him no matter his faults. I can have compassion for him instead of anger. I can see he is starting to be less confrontational. At least we can be at the same family function and I don’t become a crying screaming mess. I am in control of me and my reactions. I love it.”

If you are on your journey to happy make sure you find those people who get you. The people or person who loves you unconditionally and will always be there for you through the ups and downs. But mostly for the ups, when you are being the best you can be. You need that support and recognition of your hard work.

If you are watching someone’s journey be the positive light, the warm hug, and the “WTG!!!” friend.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.