I am back. I realize I kind of disappeared off the face of my internet blog world for a while but I was having fun in the great outdoors, with friends and family, and just being as happy as possible.

And that is what it is all about.

Sadly I have watched friends and acquaintences have to deal with the drama and bullshit that causes anxiety and heartache. I try to be there for people that need someone to listen. Someone to show that they actually give a crap about how they feel.

I always admit when I can empathize but I really don’t have a clue to the degree of pain they are in because each one of us has a different threshold. Life and experiences have molded each one of us differently.

Domestic violence, both physical and emotional, and alcohol abuse was part of my day to day life for the first 35 years of my life. So I became great at problem solving, critical thinking, and crisis prevention. I learned how to survive.

The next 20 years was filled with love and loss. I again learned how to survive after having a great and unconditional love. I fought through it all. I had many joys and between my personal life and work life I thought my confidence was returning.

When I was hit by major losses and changes my world started to crumble. I cried from morning to night. I sat at my desk at work and cried. I sat at home and cried. And then I crashed. I wanted to die. I was a liability to everyone around me. Then I called my children and my psychologist.

It took a long time and a lot of work to come back. But I have arrived. I have my days when I am falling into the pit. Because I have good friends and family that are there for me, I can find the strength to fight back out. And that is the key. You must find the supports that are right for you. It may be a counselor or spiritual leader. It may be your family physician. It may be a long term friend who knows the good, bad, and ugly of your life. It may be that new friend that is strong, caring, and willing to listen. You need someone to help hold you when you get out of the pit. It’s been scary and horrible. Take the comfort and love from your supports.

So I am back. I have a long cold winter ahead. I still find my joys, it just takes more layers of clothing to get out there. I have all the blessings I need for now. I do love happy. I hope I can help some others find their happy.

If you have any questions or topics you want discussed, you can e-mail me at HappyWhereru@gmail.com

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.