I grew up in an era of, “If you don’t stop your goddamn crying I’ll give you something to cry about.” Or, “I told you to go play or I’ll find work for you to do.” And the infamous, “We’re here to visit. I told you to sit quiet and not make a sound. Do not embarrass me!” And always the worst, “You are NOT hurt. Stop your goddamn whining!!”

I was very lucky that my parents did not believe in giving lickins (couldn’t find how to even spell that word) very often because when I did get one it was horrific. I had ridden my bicycle down the main street of my hometown and onto a major highway. So because I could’ve gotten badly hurt apparently that was the justification for using an ironing cord against my bottom.

I have to totally admit that much of my parenting was based on fear. The fear of my children having to see my disappointment if they made an error. The fear of being yelled at for a mistake in judgement. The fear of making an adult angry. I did love to play with my children. I loved games and laughter. I loved cuddles and kisses and I love yous. But I often pray they took more of the positive than the negative from their father and I.

Then I discover Early Childhood Education in the 80’s as a college student, parent, and child care worker. Behaviour Management. Learning consequences for behaviour. Time outs. Rewards for good behaviour. Learning through play and curriculum. I got this made. I love rules!! I love little kids!!

In the mid 90s, I choose to switch careers and go into business administration. Adults, computers, and only my grandkids to play with.

I have reached the semi retirement age and know that my joy is often attached to the laughter and the happiness of small children. Well, this old dog had to learn some new tricks, and the tricks are really quite good.

Back in the ECE setting I was introduced to this wonderful concept of raising secure, brave, well-behaved children who are able to not only manage their own feelings and their own situation’s, but also be able to go out there and just nail it as kind caring humans. And guess what? There are no time outs. There are no fear tactics. There is no yelling. There is no shaming. Oh my. Circle of Security.

I encourage every parent, grandparent, and just general humans to read about these concepts. I’ve watched them work with small children who my parents would’ve called little terrors. They are children who have experienced traumas and conflicts. Even our staff are using these concepts with each other. So that we always feel secure and cared about.

Please check it out. And free courses are available in almost every region of Canada and the United States.

What is the Circle of Security

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.