Sometimes F@&K IT is A Okay!!!!

I don’t know how many times I read positive messages that say don’t give up , keep on trying, failures are only learning steps to your goal!! Frik that!!! Sometimes we have to give up.

My igloo.

My goal was to build an igloo. I did the research. I knew about how many balloons are needed. I filled lots of balloons with water. I put them out on my deck until they froze. And then at -25 I started to build my igloo.

Wow, this really works. Mixing a little bit of water and snow. Put on those ice fisherman gloves. And start mixing and using the snow mush as mortar between the ice balls. After a couple of hours of pulling and pushing and mixing the cement-like snow mixture, my right arm arthritis was screaming at me. But it was going so well!!! I will do more tomorrow.

That evening not only did I massage lots of Voltaren onto my arm, I was unable to use it for anything. I got out the heating pad, took some pain killers, and just rested my arms the whole night. In the morning it wasn’t aching quite as bad.

I woke to see the beginnings of an igloo. The three layers that I had been able to start and get put together were solid as a rock. There is no way I could’ve kicked out a block. I was confident the dome would be super strong and safe.

When I went to get ready to go outside I grabbed the ice fishing gloves and as I tried to pull them on a sharp pain ran up my right arm. I was so mad at my body. I hated it for a moment. Then I took my deep breath. May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

In order to take care of my own health and my own body I had to come to the realization that the igloo would have been a fantastic project 10 years ago before my arm joints reduced the strength I have. It was okay to give up. It wasn’t failure it was survival.

Staying active is what keeps me functioning both physically and cognitively. I always try to keep going. I try harder to exercise a little longer because I want to enjoy the best quality of life I can. I accepted that building an igloo was not the goal. Enjoyment and creativity was the goal and that I achieved.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.

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