My family is the most important thing in my life besides my own wellbeing. I would do anything in my power to help them. I would move heaven and earth to protect them. I have to trust their judgement as adults. I try to only provide advice if it is asked for. And that almost kills me.
But the next most important element in my life are my friends. Like the old saying about some people come into your life for a season, I have had many wonderful friends that I know were in my life for maybe a short time, but for a very important reason.
We have all had work friendships. Some last for the term of the employment and some last for a lifetime. I still have friends that I developed in the second job I ever had in my life.
I have childhood friends that are almost like extended family. They know all about my childhood and where I grew up. There is definitely no explanations needed and I can say, “Hey, isn’t it nice when we could go to Vickies?” and they know exactly where I’m talking about.
What I have learned in the last five years is that you have to take the time to let those friends know you care. It can be as simple as sending a text message out of the blue that says I love you, thank you for being my friend. Too often we assume that our friends know how important they are to us. I have friends that I sometimes don’t talk to for months because we don’t live in the same area.
My depression would often isolate me. I would just not want to have to talk. It’s crazy that talking is often what helps us heal. Before my self-compassion improved, I would often assume that people didn’t want to be close friends with me. If I didn’t get asked out to social events, or invited for dinner, I would assume that they didn’t care. Now I realize that we all have busy lives. And it’s easy to have friendships take the backseat. As a good friend I really attempt to let people know I care about them and that I’m here if they need me. Just because I haven’t text them at least twice a week it doesn’t mean that I don’t think about them, or that I don’t love them as much as I ever have.
To my friends: Thank you for always being there if I need you. I will try harder to find time for us to get together. Call me anytime day or night if you need me.
JAMES TAYLOR’S YOU’VE GOT A FRIEND!!! BEST SONG EVER!!!
May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy.
May I live with ease.