I have been extremely fortunate to have been loved unconditionally by a wonderful man. That love you feel when someone looks in your eyes from across the room and you both smile and know that you have each other’s never ending love. The way he looked at me I felt beautiful and wanted. No jealousy. No doubt. No worry. No fear. My first true happy.

As a widow at 41 I was devastated. And after a couple of years very lonely. I had only been with two men. My first husband for seventeen years and my second for five years. My first husband had been controlling and insecure about every action and reaction. He was a very sad and angry very often. Extremely negative. Died of alcoholism.

Brian was the opposite in many ways. Easy going. Loved to go on road trips, loved my music, loved family gatherings. Hard working, his kids were first priority, loved sports, and a great dad. Sexy and passionate. My best everything.

I went through some of the grieving stages. I was angry that he left me alone. I was angry with God for taking away my first true feeling of happy. We were supposed to end up being that cute old couple walking down the sidewalk holding hands. He was not supposed to die at the age of 44 of prostrate cancer.

In around 2000 I bought my first computer. My daughter had gotten a summer job in Romania. And I was able to contact her daily with Yahoo! Messenger. Along with yahoo game accounts, I made a profile. And then I joined the yahoo games groups. We played crib. We played solitaire. We played pyramids, and I got to meet some wonderful people from the United States, Ireland, and from all across Canada.

I would spend hours and hours on the computer. It filled the quiet hours in my apartment. And with my depression it allowed me to hide. Over 20 years later, I am still friends with one of the original players at the yahoo games. She is a wonderful retired lawyer in New York.

Along with those nice normal people that love playing games, there came along the chat searchers. Almost every conversation started with “Hi beautiful I would love to be able to have some time to see what we have in common.” Or it might be, “Oh you’re a widow. Sadly I too know how painful that can be.”

Many of these people profess to have wonderful jobs in exotic countries with no one to love them. And if you agree to keep chatting with them they will spend an extraordinary amount of time “falling in love” with you. Sometimes after months, after you have talked often of meeting in person, after you have looked forward to each one of his calls, after he has made you feel loved and beautiful he has a disaster happen.

That disaster is a well thought out plan. The man usually claims to be an American or Canadian working on a project in a place like Africa, or a Middle East country, Qatar, etc.

An example: He claims to have been getting sick. This could be a few days. He needs some medication but the drug store here won’t take Visa and his bank account is not completely finished updating for his new location. He makes comments like, “I don’t know what to do? Damn I am so alone here. Being able to talk to you makes it at least bearable.”

He knows he has prepped this well if he reads your next chat and it says, “Oh hon. I feel so bad for you. Isn’t there someone who can help you?”

He will then convincingly explain some company or government reason for no access to accounts. His family from the States are on holidays, “Remember me telling you about Mary and family going up into the remote Rockies for a holiday? They left last night for two weeks. So they can’t even wire me the money!!”

Then he knows he has got her when she asks, “Well how much do you need?”

“Only $500 and here I am with a $50,000 Visa and I can’t pay that!LOL”

“Well what if I send you the money?”

“No I can’t ask you to do that. I hate that medications here are so expensive.”

“No I want to. You can wire me back the money when your account opens up.”

And he knows he has been successful. Now anything is possible. He may even wire her back a part payment to build the trust and affection. Next time he has been robbed and can’t get out of the country without his passport and cards. The woman sends thousands. There is a problem with the government regime. The American consulate is working on his passport. He has to pay corrupt immigration officials. The corrupt immigration official even sends chat messages or emails to the woman with threats of harm to her loved one. Some have people local that can phone and harass the woman. This is big business.

In Canada in 2021, $64 BILLION was lost through romance fraud. They are good. A few times I enjoyed being flirted with. I enjoyed being attractive to someone. But unless your internet interest is local, do not engage. NEVER give money to anyone that you have never met face to face.

Protect your heart and your money. A true love is someone that holds your hand and you can feel their heart.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. Maybe I be happy. May I live with ease.