I raised 3 very successful and kind children. I remarried and helped be there for 3 more. My 6 children met wonderful people and presented me with 14 grandchildren. They too are nice humans. Many ask how I made that happen. Well it was kind of like this.

Randy and I came from low income families. Our childhoods had been affected by alcholism in our families. We both quit school in Grade 10. We were married when I was 16 and he was 19. Raymond was born when I was 17. Tammy when I was 18. Robert when I was 22. I had my tubes tied when I was 23.

I loved being a mom. We laughed and played. We cuddled. I made up for all the years I was never hugged or was told “I love you”. Raymond was the best big brother to Tammy. They played together constantly with few fights. I danced and got excited at each of their accomplishments. Each morning we watched Sesame Street, Mr. Dressup, and Friendly Giant. Then it was time to play outside and just have fun. We collected bugs and garter snakes. Robert came along and thank goodness because Raymond got to get on the big school bus and Tammy was pissed she couldn’t go. But I reminded her that Mommy needed help with this new baby and that calmed her a bit.

My three children are all different. They each have their own strengths and weaknesses. Tammy was a straight A student. Ray and Rob were C+. But they tried their best and I always tried to let them know I loved them no matter what. I loved them unconditionally.

I suffered from depression and often used the children’s play as an escape. Other times I hid in books, reading for hours and hours. Their Dad often worked 10 hour night shifts as a trucker hauling pulp wood to the paper mill. Their father was always defensive and often negative. Randy’s alcholic father often found fault with everything he did. Randy was an alcholic when I met him. But after 10 years of marriage he showed the signs and effects of alcohol. Once in a while the funny, intelligent, romantic man would appear, but too often I had to come up to his measurement of caring. “If you gave a shit about me you would …..” or “I work my ass off and those damn kids can’t do what I ask!!!” But they did learn to work hard, take instructions, and get the job done quickly and correctly.

Randy had a strong work ethic. He could build anything and drive with precision and skill any piece of heavy equipment. My children learned hard work pays. I laughed, I sang off key, I cared for the garden, and orchard, and cleaning of chickens, fish, and wildlife. I took them swimming, to school events. I was a Beavers and Cub Scout leader. Randy was uncomfortable at public events. I think he assumed everyone thought little of him. That his kids would be embarrassed by him somehow. I quit fighting to have him join family activities early in our marriage. But he loved his children dearly. And so did I. And I think that was the key.

Love your children with all your heart. Teach them by example to love and care for others. Love them unconditionally. There is nothing they could do that would change my love for them. And they know that.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.