I realize I am more calm and relaxed when I am near rocks and water. I know it’s because as a child my happiest moments were near rocks and water. The western edge of the Canadian Shield provided the place.

My old Swedish Great Uncles were five bachelors living in a blue cabin built on a huge rock at Brereton Lake. There are pictures of me feeding a squirrel at the age of three. Sitting on the dock with an orange life jacket that looked like balloons tied around me.

My next joyous memory is spending each July at my Aunt Florence’s at Silver Falls. My Uncle Jack built the cottage with 10 inch logs in 1936. It was their first home when they married. I slept in the veranda. I could hear the falls, smell the fresh air, and feel the cool summer breezes. I would wander through the bush climbing over the huge rock formations. At moments, after I was 10, I could wander on my own, I would find a favourite spot where I could sit and stare into the rushing water of the Winnipeg River. I knew peace.

I attended my first movie in a theatre in Pine Falls. My Uncle was a Supervisor at the Paper Mill and they had a new house in the town. Lots of visits and dinners with their friends. No arguments. No heavy drinking. Swimming every day. Great food. New clothes. Adventurous drives to pure sand beaches and picnics. Not one bad memory.

My aunt sold the cabin in the mid-seventies and moved to Winnipeg. Over the years I would drive down the road but I would never pull in. My old self would go through my fears, “What if they tell me to go away? What if I get too upset? What if they think I am an intruder and start screaming at me?” I am not saying the fears were logical. Just real.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. I had rented a car to drive for four hours to enable me to watch my 13 year old granddaughter in her first role in a community theatre play on the Friday. Next day drove the four hours back, plant shopped, and then drove into Winnipeg for a Bon Voyage party at a pub.

By the next morning I was up and out the door to take photos of my favourite rocks and water spots.

I headed for Pine Falls. Past the farm fields, peat moss fields, forest, and swamps. As I got closer, the huge rock cuts blasted away almost 75 years ago, greeted me. I had reached the Canadian Shield.

I took pictures of the Pine Falls dam, and down to where the pulp wood used to be stored for the now closed pulp mill. The river here is so beautiful. I had breakfast with a dear old friend and then I was on the move again.

I turned into Silver Falls. As I went along I recognized cabins, rock outcrops, and turns. Way more cabins than 55 years ago. A gentleman was jogging so I asked if he would know which used to be the Beatty cabin but he hadn’t been there long enough but directed me to the oldest residents along that stretch. I drove in a driveway I thought might be it. I introduced myself as Carol Hunter, niece of Jack and Florence Beatty. And it was their original neighbour in a new house. His old log cabin was gone and replaced by a new house. He informed me that the old 1936 long cabin of my aunt’s was gone too but Mrs Rusk still lived there at 89. I thanked him and drove next door. Mrs. Rusk was on her front deck with her son and grandkids. As soon as I said who I was she started with stories and memories.

I took pictures and let my memories warm my heart. I regretted not being braver long time ago. But I have grown so much as a person. I know where my zen place is. Rocks and water.

May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be happy. May I live with ease.